5 Common Mistakes That Killed My Confidence

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Our body shows emotion and feeling much quicker than we can recognize. When we are nervous, we start fidgeting, deeply breathing, and wondering with our eyes. The brain sends a signal to the body. You are nervous — rubbing something to relapse it. This link between the brain and body is bidirectional. Feelings manage the body, and the body manages feelings.

For example, when you run, you breathe more quickly and deeper than usual. The brain recognizes that your muscles need more oxygen. Take an order your respiratory system moves faster. You can do the same with confidence. Your body cues can make you feel confident.

Other people feel that you are nervous and unconfident, too. It can ruin our deal, pitch, or conversation.

This article is about personal mistakes that destroy my confidence. When I was a teenager, I try to find ways to gain my confidence. They helped me increase self-esteem, which in turn helped push me beyond my comfort zone, and try to get some stuff that I feared. This investigation led me to body language. I gathered practice tips from body language experts that worked for me and must help you.

Slow Down Movements and Words

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Confident people move slowly. We can easily point out a happy and confident person through a crowd of people. He doesn’t hurry. The person walks slowly and strongly.

Let’s see how your fast movement looks like. Speedy movements look like you trying to run away. You move fast because you are nervous and want to end it faster.

Speak slowly, too. When you try to talk fast, cue notice that you are nervous. Confident people talk slowly. They make sure that all of their words are heard and understood.

Famous public speakers master making pauses. TED speakers make pauses that engage people to listen, to tune their ear to “speaker’s” FM.

Speedy speed can be evaluated as a threat or fake. For instance, you forget your phone in the taxi. You start to ask strangers to make a call to your phone. The best decision is to speak slowly and explain the whole situation. Otherwise, they can think that you want to steal their phone.

Stop Hand Fidgeting

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Fidgeting is the signal of anxiety. Those signals can be touching your hand, face, or shoulders. Massaging your hands is the cue of movement adaptors. They help to release nervousness.

You should stop doing it, they ruin your confidence.

The one and only one method to remove fidgeting — notice. When you notice what you start rubbing your finger, stop doing it and separate your hands. Trying to sit still. Image you without fidgeting create a better view.

I joint my hands with space between fingers. This position helps me stop fidgeting and busy my hands. From other views, I look more relaxed comparing with fidgeting hands.

A common way makes your hands busy to put them in a pocket. This method creates an untrust. It seems like you hid your hands or other things. Also, sometimes people look at things that they touching, rubbing, or pulling. It creates a view that a person doesn’t hear a speaker. Take out your hands.

Chin up and Back Straight

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Straight back and chin up makes your confidence. I don’t know how to explain it, but it works. When I fix this, it helps me feel confident.

Straight back helps you see bigger. Behavior helps other people to understand that you engage in their story. Imagine, the slouched-back boy listens to your story. You can’t say that he is interested in your story.

The tiled-down head is a cue of frustration, depression, and submissiveness. When you get a chip up, it seems like you are engaged.

Talking Without Gesticulating

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When I was younger, I played in “Crocodile” game. You need to show the words without saying any sound. You can use only gestures, mimics, and our actor’s skills. However, now I don’t use gestures a lot, and that decreases my confidence.

You decrease your confidence while don’t use your hands. The common cue of hand covering the center of the stomach means that you’re shy and vulnerable. Break the cue.

You’ll become a better speaker. Your hands can make your message more persuasive, create a better impression, and vivid.

We have a range of hand movements. Hands help us point to something to create narrow attention. We can use hands as an arrow for explaining schemes. Draw shapes in the air with fingers and the list goes on.

When I start to use my hands in the conversation, I become more confident. Gestures complement my thoughts.

Wondering Eyes or Weak Eyes Contact

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Strong eye contact creates a feeling of closeness and trust. When you look at a person’s eyes, the other world behind his/her eyes fades away. You focus on his/her emotions. People notice it and feel a sense of extra attention to them. And they like this attention.

Eyes are a great position for reading people’s emotions. While looking at eyes, you can see forehead, nose, and lips. Helping adjust your emotion for being on the same wave.

Our croc brain raises the alarm when seeing weak eye contact. When a child is lying, he/she never look at your eyes. Wondering eyes during tough personal conversation looks like disinterest, disengagement. People with scanning eyes showing their nervousness. All these examples show the disadvantages of weak eye contact. Weak eye contact killed confidence.

What did influence your confidence? Leave a comment.

Writing for team leaders who want to make themselves and their teams the best.